Monday, November 7, 2011
My Screenplay, Back to the Drawing Board...Day 7 of NaBloPoMo.
As I previously wrote (post from October 17), I entered the Bluecat Screenplay Competition several weeks ago. I anxiously awaited my two script analyses and they arrived last night. I read it over twice, printed it, let my husband read it, then told my mali about it.
I didn’t want to crack open my script last night, but I have eight days to pound it into shape and resubmit. It wasn’t slaughtered like I thought it would be, but I was surprised that they wanted more DRAMATIC scenes.
I feel like a swordsmith who needs to fire up the logs and pound my sword into better shape. I WANT A SAMURAI SWORD, NOT A BUTTER KNIFE!
In any writing, novel or scripts, nice neat emotional packages are great, but they want the rollercoaster ride and the uncertainty…I will do my best.
Some of the positives of THE DADDY BLOG analyses:
“I thought you did a good job exploring what it means to be a family. Your main characters took on the typical roles of a nuclear family despite the fact that they weren’t actually directly related….I think that this depiction of “the family” was very unique and made your script more interesting to read.”
“In general, the characters are distinct and relatable, and Verona really stands out as someone who has sacrificed her own needs for the needs of her family.”
Some of the negatives/constructive criticism:
“I also feel like there is generally not enough conflict in your story. Despite the fact that your protagonists’ parents face horrible deaths while they are still children, it doesn’t seem to affect them in a very significant way.”
“Once Brutus dies, the script becomes very conversation-driven and many of the scenes feel static, almost play- rather than movie-like.”
Overall, I’m relieved that I received this feedback. It was worth the fee. Again, going to do my best to bring this screenplay up to par. Wish me luck!