Showing posts from 2010

2010--Tiger On the Loose--2011

I am consumed with another book idea. This year, 2010, Year of the Tiger has been prosperous and exciting. The launch of Guam Books and Beads with my partner in literary goals, Alison has been a dream realized. But, with all successes, comes maintenance. There have been things I’ve neglected and things I’ve forgotten. A balance needs to be achieved, but right now I’m raging with scenes and ideas for another novel idea. My first novel, which some close friends have read, needs fixing. My characters, Thomas and Phoenix will someday see the light of day. I have an agent waiting for my revised draft. It’s been a year and I have had my focus elsewhere. But, this new idea which I have only shared with my husband is consuming me, this last day of 2010.

So, in a mad rush to get my ideas and these characters fleshed out, I will type like a beast today, especially since my darling children are napping. Starting out 2011 with a bang! I will probably be at my computer typing out scenes, the scenes…

Blog You...the Good, the Bad, the Hypercritical

Critics hold a mirror to you because they’re too weak to look into their own reflection (or they’re vampires).

I believe this quote, a la moi, and feel it. I have much to be happy about and criticisms of my books, my life, the mode in which I display my pride in my Chamorro heritage—anything I do from those on the outside will remain outside. Before you step into my house, take off your shoes. Then, I might lend an ear to your words.

Flinging opinions to the wind, in hopes that the target will somehow receive it is a cowardly way to give yourself a voice. Face to face, intellect to intellect…let’s do this. If not, then hold your tongue or find a way to do it yourself. By the way, just because I don’t speak Chamorro, it doesn’t minimize my Chamorro-ness…I had enough of that growing up and I won’t be bullied now.

I’m a concrete house, I’m mighty, mighty….

I had a wonderful, academic and cultural-filled weekend. The UCLA visit was awesome and the support from the Pacific Islander community …

Attitude 13

Book Details

Attitude 13: A Daughter of Guam's Collection of Short Stories, now available from $13.00

I'm a Dandy Lion, hear me ROAR!

"Reading makes a full (man), conference a ready (man), and writing an exact (man)." --Sir Francis Bacon

I’m listless when I’m not writing.

My son asks the same question before walking to his class--after we do our ritual of high-fives and I love you’s and blown kisses. “What are you going to do at home when I’m at school?”

My standard response is “cook, clean and WRITE!”

With the first in my Guam legend series tackled and my short story collection completed, I’m grabbing at words, jotting down phrases that inspire me. A brief meeting with a stranger can spark a storyline in my head. Remembering an old friend in high school, gets me thinking of their point-of-view.

My next legend collaboration with my artist brother is Fu’una and Puntan. Maybe blasting this in cyberspace will add to the urgency. “Git ‘er done!” As Mater would say. So, February 2011 people. That’s my self-imposed deadline.

With no real looming deadline and focus on the promotion of my books and the Guam Books and…

I ♥ Alison Rae!

Fasten your seatbelts, this literary train is chugging along with or without you.

The ball is rolling and now I just need to keep up with the momentum. I’ve always worked better with looming deadlines and pressure. I’m feeling it again now with the promotion of my children’s book and short story collection. This book writing project has a life of its own and Alison and I are super passionate about perfecting and maintaining what we’ve started. I feel as giddy as I did when I was planning my wedding. We even created a brand logo--making it all the more real. Details, creativity, commitment—just like a marriage.

This past week we decided (after much research) on a web hosting company. We sat together making the deal and pounding the guy on the phone with questions. When the representative verified that was indeed available, we shrieked like crazed teenagers. You would have thought Robert Pattinson entered the room (shameless cougar plug). We had to apologize to the…

No P.O. Boxes?--Who wants to see my Brother on a....

So, with the excitement of the release of my new book, Sirena: A Mermaid Legend From Guam, I'm not going to let a little speed bump stop my fervor. I love my former students from Guam (after 8 years of teaching at about 140 a year, that's over a thousand former students from John F. Kennedy High School), who wanted to order my book, but couldn't get their copy sent to Guam because they have, WAIT FOR IT...P.O. Boxes! Now, at first I was upset that my publisher didn't ship at all to Guam, but they do. They even ship to Guatemala, but that's neither here nor Guam. Now, the best way for awesome patrons to get my book now is to have a physical address. Guam folk know that the vast majority of islanders have P.O. Boxes because it's just cost effective. When I say that, I mean it's too expensive to have a typhoon roll over the island and have mailboxes destroyed over and over. It would be a spectacle to have farm house mailboxes and other cutesy boxes flying arou…

The Missing Link to a Mermaid

My brother, Sonny K. Chargualaf (illustrator) and I thank everyone for their support. My children enjoyed the first story-telling from mom when we received the official copy this morning! Sirena: A Mermaid Legend from Guam is ready to order at the following link. We are looking to market the book on Guam at Bestseller, but the best price is directly with for $10.00 each. ISBN: 9781452057262.
Link won't do its magic, so please cut and paste or visit

It Has Begun! Book One Hitting the Presses!

Sirena: A Mermaid Legend from Guam is hitting the presses! I just approved the final proof and cover for my first self-published book. I will be retelling Guam legends with the artistic genius of my little brother, Sonny Chargualaf. On a side note, the first proof was ready on the death anniversary of Bruce Lee….cue eerie music now. B.L. fan in the bloghouse.

We have dedicated this first book to our late father, Tedy Gamboa Chargualaf. I can only hope that he is looking down from heaven, happy and proud that his children are continuing his legacy to perpetuate the Chamorro culture.

Your support is appreciated. is the self-publishing company I chose. Being a writer within the niche of Chamorro culture, it was the most reasonable way of getting this particular book published. The children’s book will be ready to purchase by October 2010, which is a fitting way to remember our dad for what would have been his 59th birthday. Ordering directly from will get yo…

Bruce Lee, Tattoos, Doubt, Lily Pads and Jillian Michaels—Seemingly Random

There’s an image in my head taunting me. It’s me, but as my more realized, perfected self. She’s strong, smart and sexy. She’s lean in every sense of the word and in balance with the world.

I’ve had this goddess version of myself in my head for awhile, but I feel sluggish in the attainment of that goal. I know my vices, my weaknesses, yet I continue to fall into the traps that delay my progress. Self sabotage is my specialty. How long can my fear that no one will recognize me if I lose weight hold true? Who cares if they don’t? Right?

There was a time I was obsessed with BRUCE LEE. My Chinese college professor asked us to write a paper on a “hero.” So, being 21 and totally into my Korean heritage and all things Asian, I wrote about Bruce Lee. I received an A, but the professor laughed as he passed me the paper saying, “How can you, a girl from Guam, love Bruce Lee so much?”

I think that DOUBT is squatting in my soul…planted by my parents (unknowingly), reaffirmed by professors, teachers,…


“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.” ~William Wordsworth

I remember when I was 15 and on a Confirmation Retreat (a whole five miles from my house—Guam is small) that there were several LIFE LESSONS I learned.

First, I realized that my teenage drama didn’t compare to other kids’. My dad wasn’t in prison, my mom wasn’t abusive and I wasn’t as economically challenged as others. Yes, I didn’t have a boyfriend and that was huge in my mind then, but I did have budding feminine wiles. “Budding” being the operative word—arrested development really, but I digress, thank goodness I’m married, but I digress yet again. I cried when it was my turn in the sharing circle and upped the dramatics so the cute guy next to me could comfort me with a shoulder to cry on. Silly girl, but I have a nice memory of his muscular arm.

But, the TRUEST TEARS shed that weekend were when we were given letters from our parents. In my dad’s beautiful script were loving words our family didn’t easily thr…

I Wanna ROCK!

Happy June.

Life is swell, but I still feel like I’m living under the surface of things. My days are blurring into each other. In November 2009, a soccer mom/friend asked me to participate in the Rock and Roll Marathon Team Relay. I agreed and so started the frustrating (for me) training. Almost seven months later, I had grand ideas that I would be the image of health and running the last leg with a 10-minute or better mile. The day is on the horizon and shape wise, I’m still a sexy pear. Fitness level and muscle tone are better, but my limpy left foot is an issue. My task is under 6 miles, about two 5 K’s is what I tell myself. I haven’t blasted comments about it on Facebook because simmering under my calm is nervousness. I know I can make it to the end without passing out, but I want to perform well for my team-4 Crazy Legs and for myself.

I explored the San Diego Convention Center for the very first time (I’ve lived in SoCal for 6 “ears”) for check in at the Health Expo. I was tingli…


“Friends are the family you choose for yourself.”—Edna Buchanan

I’ve learned from my experiences that sometimes your family--blood relatives--can be the most disappointing people in your life. If you’re reading my blog, it’s probably not YOU.

My late father kept some of his family in check when he married my mother. He made sure that we were respected. Why did he need to do this? My mother is Korean, and my father is Chamorro. My mother felt slighted when Chamorro was spoken in spite of her presence, but instead of griping, she did her best to learn the language. My mother, new to Guam, felt hurt when family got together in the next house and overlooked inviting her and her young children, but my pitbull father unleashed his wrath on them when he returned from a long day at work.

Love bloomed from my dad’s advocacy for fairness and for thirty years I truly believed I was loved by my father’s family. When he died, several members displayed their true colors. The ugliness in their hearts …

My Military Duty is on Spin Cycle

First off, I find it cool and very narcissistic that I could follow my own blog.

I am up late, passed midnight as my family rests. This is my only time to write, to think, to enjoy a recorded show or Pattinson flick. And, more importantly, test my will power and not raid the refrigerator or pantry--even if it's been five hours since dinner. So far, so good. I'll just imagine my cold glass of hanom ("water" in the Chamorro language) is an iced frappucino.

As a wife of a service member, washing his uniform into the next day is an honor. I get to sit and blog while he recharges for another day serving the country. As his uniform spins in the dryer, I am just THANKFUL that he's in port. I'm thankful that his hard work affords me the chance to be a STAY-AT-HOME Goddess.

To my hard-working husband...I salute you.

Esta later!

And so it begins....YATAA!

That’s me. Each day is a struggle, another chance to do right. I’ve been happily married for the last six years and I have enjoyed motherhood. Still, there is something missing. I’ve been feeling out of balance. I’m very into yin and yang and if you know me, I’m at times more yang than anything else. One thing is certain, I am a writer. Writing is my soul. When my fingers tap along, the words come out and help me make sense of my world.

At 36 (I’ve never been ashamed of my age), I still feel like I live in a cocoon. I have certain life accomplishments checked off my list, but I want more. Is it wrong to want more? I feel like I should be wailing the lyrics to Radiohead’s song, Creep—“I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.”

What is the role of my blog? How much of my private life do I want to expose? Just enough.

I would be happy if no one read my blog, because I am first and foremost doing this for ME. My thoughts and realizations and confusions need an outlet. My writing, my quip…