Monday, December 31, 2012
The Year of the Dragon brought forth an upheaval for me and my family. A major move from sunny San Diego to the Pacific Northwest in October made me feel like a rolling stone, but now that we’ve found a home we love and we are unpacking, I’m left feeling further removed from my culture and my island. There is no shortage of wonderful Chamorro family and friends here in Washington State, much like SoCal, but as my mother stressed upon hearing about our move, “You’ll be further from Guam now!”
Does calling Washington State my home betray my culture and my ties to Guam? I feel guilt when I merely think that this home we just moved into will be the home I envision myself and my family flourishing in for the long haul. I want to establish roots in this nice town we’ve invaded, but does that mean I’m turning my back on Guam, my family there, the home-island roots I love?
We’ve partied in our home numerous times with said Chamorros and loved every second. We speak of people we know and discovered that we are connected in many ways. The people we gravitated to here are the parents of two of my former students, wonderful A students who are now successful adults.
The pace of our new town is reminiscent of Guam, slower, calmer and easier; and different from California. Don't get me started on the wonderful air quality and the fact that Bruce Lee made this his home and final resting place, or the fact that grunge was born here...oh, the concerts I want to enjoy! I will mention the snow covered mountains are gorgeous this time of year, and the great wall of evergreen trees on my freeway drive is picturesque. Like Mother Nature is giving me a big hug.
Our home now is larger and cheaper than our home in SoCal too. I feel guilty when I update on Facebook with pictures and words about my new home because I feel like I’m offending and hurting my SoCal family.
But, as someone wise told me, “If you are truly happy here, then who cares what others think.” Maybe it’s the people pleaser in me (a small, diminutive lady who has her hair in a careful bun and cat eye frame glasses, she wears a gray pencil skirt and buttoned up top, clipboard in hand to keep tabs of whom she might offend with her actions)….I guess I need to put her away for now and be the barefoot, wind in the hair wild child I want to be.
This new town makes sense to me and my family. Our furniture even makes better sense in this house. So, with 2013 at our new doorstep, I’m going to live out my potential. I’m going to enjoy my new state. I’m going to tell that little people pleaser, let’s call her Agatha, to hush it, zip it, put a pin in it. I’m going to fully sit in this gorgeous state, rainy days and all and enjoy.
ESTA LATER and Happy New Year! Biba 2013!