Showing posts from January, 2012

No, Don’t Do That to Me, Please…or I’ll Go Lisbeth Salander on You.

"If you touch me, I'll more than alarm you."--Lisbeth Salander
I watched “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” last night, a date with myself. Movies, solo is a great experience, and I’ve been doing it since I was 19 when I finally didn’t care to wait around for a man to ask me out. So, with my loving husband hanging with our kids at home, I dressed nice, slipped on my boots and headed out into the rain.

Hormonal, eager to see the American version to compare with the foreign pioneer and the book (which I only read ¾ off), I marched into the AMC theater. I reached the ticket collector and knew I had exactly five minutes to get into my seat—I hate being late for anything.

What I assessed of the boy in the red shirt was that he was young enough to be my son, shaved head, and scrawny. I didn’t look at his eyes because I didn’t feel the need to register him into my database. I was scanning the left and right sides of the theater, making a mental note of what numbers were on eith…

Cut the Red Wire or the Blue Wire!?

"Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor."~Dr. Alexis CarrelI’m excellent in keeping contracts, my word, a promise to others, but….not so much with myself. I guess it has to do with the fact that I can forgive myself and make the breach “okay” in my brain. I know how to rationalize and feed myself propaganda that it’s okay to not uphold goals for myself. I hold the key to secret clauses that the buyer (myself) didn’t know—the fine, fine, fine print. Escape clauses are detrimental to any real progress. I know this.

My life is a non-stop movie that I can’t set aside or pause. I have to constantly be PRESENT, entertained by my sometimes mundane life. There are no other points of view I can have, just this one lens, my point of view.

Am I whining? Yes and no. I’m just exploring why I fall into the same traps. Maybe I’m afraid of real adventure. Maybe I’m really boring at the core. I like to think of myself a warrior, a goddess, bu…