Ready to Bleed Like Hemingway!

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and bleed.—Ernest Hemingway

In my case, the laptop, but I never thought of writing fiction as bleeding. But, it really is. I just completed about an hour of research online for a screenplay I’m focusing on. That’s a big feat considering that I’m making dinner and keeping my children entertained in the next room.

So, I’m taking a break from writing so I can….write some more. Crazy? Yes. I wonder why I even bother sometimes. Why can’t I be obsessed about something else or satisfied with just being a Navy wife, homemaker, mother of two wonderful, amazing kids?

Why? Why is it that when I get a story idea I can’t think of anything else. My brain squeezing out scenes and storylines before I finally fall asleep, praying that I will remember the next morning, something brilliant I created in my head. Why am I fleshing out characters, giving them quirks and making myself care about them like they were real? Why is it that I have a yellow Mead notebook from when I was 19 years old (18 years ago) etched with the notes and outline of Jet City Woman, the novel I was supposed to finish…and someday will, except that damn movie, Colombiana just came out with the same premise I had for my novel. By the way, with a title like Jet City Woman, you know I was listening to some Queensryche. Date myself, why don’t I?



I’ve dusted off the old, almost rusted spiral yellow notebook and started notes in the second segment for my screenplay; I have only shared the storyline with my husband and my buddy, Trini, thus far. Intellectual property…I’m keeping it close for now.

So, back to my inspiration before I have to go off and serve dinner, attend a school function, get the kids ready for bed…..my passion comes in slices each day, which I hope will add up to a finished product, whether it’s a novel or screenplay, the worlds and people I create on a page will soon see the light of day. PEACE OUT and thanks for reading this….and thank you to my buddy, Raquel for forwarding information containing Hemingway’s awesome quote!

And, well to answer the WHY? I love words, I love stories, I love description, I love symbolism….I love teaching with my words. I’ll have to get back to you.

By the way, promoting the writing I do have, hope to see you at PIFA September 24 and 25 where I am the featured author of Guam Batik Gallery….

PIFA Information http://www.pifasandiego.com/
Guam Batik Gallery Information http://guambatikgallery.com/category/slider/
Authorhouse/ Attitude 13 Information http://bookstore.authorhouse.com/Products/SKU-000378025/Attitude-13.aspx



ESTA LATER!

Tanya University, I am a River Phoenix….

Well, not really, but you can find just about anything on-line. I am self-teaching on the subject of SCREENWRITING. I have grand dreams of writing a novel that will be adapted to a screenplay to be made into a movie.





So, my thinking, and with my impatience….why not just write a screenplay? The format and rules can be found on-line and I’ve ordered recommended books too. The entire screenplay for Thelma and Louise is in the mail; I purchased it on Amazon for 14 cents. Yes, 14 pennies.

So, I’m going to study and try paving my storylines on a screenplay template. I’ve downloaded and read memorable scenes from my favorite flicks. For example, My Best Friend’s Wedding, my favorite scene is when hunky Dermot Mulroney is singing to Julia on the ferry, he takes her in his arms and sings The Way You Look Tonight. So, I’ve read the scene in screenwriting format, then Youtubed the scene and watched it applied….since my revelation, I’ve been watching every movie with new eyes.




In novel writing, I have to be wordy, paint a clear picture, choose my words carefully. In screenwriting, it’s blunt, still making lovely pictures, but with less constraint.

Now, I am well-aware that film students spend years learning the trade, paying big money for courses. I don’t have that luxury, so I’ll make due and try my best.




<---"Domestic Goddess",influenced by multi-armed Indian goddess Kali and the madcap, mid-century artwork of Jim Flora and Joan Miro



I have my eyes on some competitions and the steps needed to garnering attention. But, step one, write the darn thing. So, with that said, I’m off to create a world, made of scenes from my cluttered brain.

INT. Tanya’s Kitchen-Day

TANYA

TANYA, 30s, mother of 2, domestic goddess, smiles as she types away on her laptop, her children are O.S. giggling. Tanya gulps the last of her coffee, cracks her knuckles, and . . .

Wish me luck!

FADE OUT.

Esta Later!

Short Stories vs. Novels

“When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.”
—Creighton Abrams

For me, writing short stories is very fulfilling. But as a mom of two little duendes and a wife of a wonderful taotaomona, I have small slices of time and focus for writing at any given time—typically late at night when the house is quiet. I can visualize a storyline, start to finish easy, but slapping down creative words to help the story flow is difficult.

So, since self-publishing my first collection of 13 short stories* and having two others in Storyboard 11, I am now focused on my romantic comedy novel. I have a trustworthy team of Beta Readers (explained in my previous blog entry). The manuscript is in its second incarnation. I wrote the first draft in about four weeks, three hours a night like a mad-woman. And, like many novice writers, I thought it was print ready. After several initial readers and a very expensive writer’s conference at SDSU, and a handful of rejection letters from agents (yes, I went that far); I learned otherwise. I met a great agent, NT, who liked my “hook”. She said, Guam/Chamorros had never been a focal point of a novel, so I was excited to get to redrafting. That was January of 2010. I am recommitted to submitting three chapters to agent NT before the end of the year, but only if the manuscript is ready.




Short stories are nice, neat packages that hold a lot of meaning, metaphor, emotion. It’s like telling a short knock, knock joke. Poetry is great one-liners. Some say that poetry is much harder to craft than short stories or novels and I believe it. I’m wordy. I’ve tried my hand at poetry and it’s tough. Spurts of success, so I’ll stick to reading great poetry.

So, moving to a novel with about 250 pages or 80,000 words, I feel like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice character, David (Jay Baruchel is sexy to me by the way) trying to wield my powers to shape sentences, choose the right words and drive my story forward. At times, I send a blast of power that amazes me (this is very seldom) and other times I spurt small fart-like bursts of power that probably won’t see the light of day (this is very often).




My toddler daughter is beyond daily naps, so there goes a one hour window to write; she won’t be in preschool either until fall of next year. My son doesn’t start school for three weeks, so his full attention is on me, mostly telling me how bored he is if he isn’t playing a video game. I can’t leave my kids in front of the television just so I can write, and I don’t send them off to childcare to be alone, so this is my dilemma. A mild one, yes, so my manuscript is in a long gestational period. Still growing, still thriving, just longer than usual, much like a baby elephant, no?

Well, I’m hiding in the kitchen while my children play so I can write, something, anything aside from fun Facebook posts. Blogging keeps me sane, helps me vent. So, with this written, I know I’ll be reviewing several pages of my manuscript today. Wish me focus!

ESTA LATER!
*Attitude 13: A Daughter of Guam’s Collection of Short Stories (Authorhouse, 2010)
http://www.authorhouse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?BookId=SKU-000378025

July, Full of Life

The busy-ness of my weekends in July made this a memorable summer thus far. Comic Con lived up to my expectations. I was exhausted after each day. I did fulfill the goal of seeing Robert Pattinson in person for the Twilight: Breaking Dawn panel, to include the other major players such as Kristen Stewart & Taylor Lautner. I switched to survival mode, limiting sleep, water and food to endure the seven hour wait in line. Crazy? Yes. Rewarding? Definitely. Has my life magically changed since “seeing” Robert P. from 500 feet away? Not really.


Saturday was great as well at Comic Con, sitting in the Activision panel, listening to Stan Lee, Val Kilmer. Seeing Korean beauty, Jamie Chung and the dude who played Rex Racer in Speedracer wasn’t so terrible either. I got a strong craving to watch Sucker Punch after seeing Jamie C., fulfilled yesterday.


Random celebrity sightings on the exhibition floor was cool too(i.e., the back of Ginnifer Goodwin, "Something Borrowed").



My son got to meet two of the creators of Ben 10. I think I was more excited than he. My cousins stumbled upon and met and chatted with Matt Groening, creator of The Simpsons. My daughter wasn’t as afraid of the villains in costume or giant robots. And my hubby got to sit in the Castle panel and laugh at Nathan Fillion.



Two days ago, I was fortunate enough to attend L.A. Rising at the Los Angeles Coliseum. We missed the first two acts (on purpose), but planned our arrival to hear Lauryn Hill (who I found out just had her sixth child last week), Muse (my second concert in a year—I’ve met my quota), and Rage Against the Machine (these 40-somethings still have the fire). Watching Tom Morello work his magic on the guitar was, well, magical! I thought all the screechy DJ like scratch sounds I used to rock to were from a DJ, but realized as I watched the big screens focused on Morello’s hands that he was the Mastermind of all strange and wonderful sounds. To be a part of what I'm guessing to be 80, 000 plus fans (including Val Kilmer)….was AWESOME.

<=Matt Bellamy of MUSE is the Taki! (♥ his voice).
July was hyped up and played out great. I’m looking forward to a nice, warm August with my family as we gear up for more Navy living and school days. It feels great to be exhausted at the end of the day. Exhaustion from exhilaration is never a bad thing.

So, August, focusing on my novels, well one and a half, really. One completed draft is in the hands of two able and willing BETA READERS*, and I'm raking over my hardcopy before handing it over to a wonderful Navy wife who has agreed to check it out. I needed another BETA READER* who was not Chamorro or not familiar with Guam to read with fresh eyes. Goal: Get this novel to the lone agent who agreed to read my first 3 chapters almost 2 years ago…hope she hasn’t forgotten me. If she has…I will do my best to refresh her memory. I reluctantly call myself a Romance writer, but I guess I am, although my books would fall under Women's Lit, comfortably. I'm no harlequin style writer, more chic lit (which has been called derogatory)...I don't like to share story lines (much like an inventor wouldn't post blue prints of works not completed)...but a phoenix is a common theme and another Beta Reader (my best friend) said the first book was "very Bridget Jones's Diary--but with a Chamorro Chick."



I’m also excited because I’ve given two chapters of my new project (half way written) to Carlene Rae Dater, who was my writing mentor two years ago. She helped light a fire under my butt to right (write) until I was done….So, as if I’ve given my work to a professor for editing and a grade, I nervously await her reaction.

Esta Later!

*BETA READER: A beta reader (also spelled betareader, or shortened to beta) is a person who reads a written work, generally fiction, with what has been described[1] as "a critical eye, with the aim of improving grammar, spelling, characterization, and general style of a story prior to its release to the general public." The author or writer, who can be referred to as the alpha reader, may use several "betas" prior to publication. (Source: Wikipedia, because we all know what’s written there is FAKT. )

Comic Con Here I Come!

Comic Con Newbie!

Yes, Comic Con in San Diego is an exciting event. I’m thoroughly excited to the point that I’ve been planning my Thursday visit like a military leader. I’ve reconned the building, twice, Youtubed (this is a verb much like Google has become a verb—not verified) the horrific lines for Hall H and even coerced my wonderful cousins who live less than two miles away to let me and my children sleep over so I can sneak out before “Breaking Dawn” in hopes of lining up for the Twilight: Breaking Dawn panel. If you follow my blog, you know I do admire Robert, so I’m trying not to get too excited in case I don’t make the 6,000 attendee cut off for the infamous Hall H.


I know “real” Comic Convention enthusiasts hate Twi-hards or Twi-tards as we are often referred to, but everyone is entitled to their afflictions. I am definitely making the rounds of the comic book circuit on the proceeding days. I will take pictures of the many characters that will convene by the water. I’m particularly excited to see Wonderwoman or any strong (sexy) female characters. If I see a Harry Potter look-a-like, I’ll be posing with him too.

Hopefully, I can report back that I indeed saw the cast of Twilight: Breaking Dawn in person, even if they are microscopic. Wish me luck as I ride the teen/mom/grandma wave of estrogen into Hall H. Robward, here I come.

Class of 2023!

"DO NOT GO WHERE THE PATH MAY LEAD; GO INSTEAD WHERE THERE IS NO PATH AND LEAVE A TRAIL."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson





Driving home from my son’s school today--his last day at kindergarten, I saw a car with a congratulatory sign on its back windshield, “Congratulations Class of 2011!” I’m not a math whiz, but it took me about ten seconds to realize that my five-year old son would graduate from high school in 2023. 2023! Steam shot out of my ears when I tried to figure out my age then and what reunion I would celebrate in 2022. I would be 49 when my boy graduates and would have had my 30th High School Reunion! Let’s hope my mom’s Asian DNA is strong, because I envision myself decrepit. My daughter already asking, “Mom, why do you paint your hair?” My son replying, “She doesn’t have white hair! That’s when she’s 70!” Bless him….I need to be rich too since tickets back home for my reunion might be $5,000.00 then.

I hope my children will get to flow with a common group of students like my husband and I did, being from Guam. Small island, small town characteristics can be a nice thing. Being a part of my son’s school and seeing the joy in the 5th grade graduates today, knowing they would flow with their pack into middle school was heartwarming.

I know every child’s name in my son’s class. I know their parents’ faces, most of their names and it would be nice to maintain ties with many of them. A few of them have taken the time to be kind and genuinely interested in my family. Being military, we can be yanked from shore to shore. We’ve been lucky enough to maintain the same residence for the last 7 years. I hope for my son and daughter’s sake that we can stay. His kindergarten teacher was stellar, teaching since I was my daughter’s age. She has the wisdom and patience for five-year olds and my son grew intellectually and socially under her care. I hope to have my daughter in her class and with luck, she won’t retire soon. Oi! My daughter starts school in 2013, which means she graduates from high school in 2026! Ouch! Brain cramp! So, I will be 52 years-withered! My parents were begging for grandkids at that age! Time to eat better, rest, de-stress, exercise and save up. Who knows what college my kids will want to attend and I need to save for my 35th High School Reunion in 2027.

Congratulations to all graduates!

ESTA LATER!

Guam Goddess Blog is Uno!

Happy 1st Anniversary to my blog, Guam Goddess in Training.

Whew, a year. It’s Friday the 13th. A day, I’ve never been afraid of, because I was born on a 13th. And it fittingly marks one year of blogging. Nineteen entries, documented forever…..thank you to my 15 "followers."

I started my first entry on May 13th of last year, and now Robert Pattinson is 25. I feel less creepy about my “guaiya” for him, but my lust has moved from fiery to lukewarm…I’ll always be a fan though (thank you to my husband for allowing this adolescent thing to carry on). My husband is not buying the excuse of Robert being my MUSE for my novels anymore...although it's true.

My status as a domestic Guam Goddess is still “training” but improving everyday. Each day has been a struggle for BALANCE. If I focus on one part of my life too much, another part suffers…then the teetering begins and I struggle to keep on the balance beam of my life. (By the way, the picture of the tiger is credited when I Googled "Tiger balance beam").

I lost many important people this past year: my grandmother, my Uncle Mike, my mother-in-law, and now my old Tae Kwon Do coach is in the ICU in Guam (scary in and of itself--the hospital that is, but Mr. Ysrael was hardcore).

I have gained many rewards as well. My children continue to be healthy, happy and spunky—curious as heck too. I’m proud that my son can whip my butt in Monopoly and has stopped asking to play his DSI and Wii, preferring monopolizing and honing his chess skills. My husband continues to be his steady, awesome wonderful self—knowing when to work hard and play as necessary. My daughter had a dream realized of having a birthday at Chuck E. Chaka’s…the last for my children. She also has magnified her intelligence, sass and crass. I love it.

Guam Books and Beads continues to gain exposure. We have been invited further and further north and we take opportunities to share our Chamorro literature when we can.

All I know is that I’m not finished growing or improving. I may even say the same thing next year. I also know that life is fragile. We each need to make a constant effort to cherish, make the most of or breathe through each second of our lives. I have a lot on my “plate,” but won’t trade it for anything. I won’t gripe (well, maybe sometimes) about my station in life.

Everyone wants to make their mark in the world, and I’m no different. I have enough gray hairs without sweating the small stuff. By the way, anyone who counts the number of cliché’ phrases and quotes in this entry wins a prize.

Where the heck am I going with this? I have dishes and laundry and cooking and cleaning and parenting and writing to do….

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”—Charles Swindoll

I’m going to cherish each day because I recently found out a child at my son's school, well his future will forever be changed. His parent found out he had terminal cancer. I found that out yesterday morning from another parent. All I could think about was this young boy. His parent didn’t even realize he was stage 4--just one day driving, a massive headache and a car crash. Then, doctors say terminal. My mind raced to the kindergartner’s future. How would he flourish without his dad? What would he become? How would he handle it in the next year? At the funeral? This really wasn’t my concern, but you’re not human if you don’t feel for this family. I did. I wondered what lesson I was to take from this. Being a worry wart and fearful of cosmic forces, I wondered about this family all day. Then my husband wants to buy running shoes and we’re off to a sporting goods store. That same day, I’m walking around the store with my children and my son’s classmate’s parents walk right by me. I point them out to my child. He tries to say hello, but they continue on. I wonder how they’re handling this shift in their reality. I realize I have seen this man before. I point them out to my husband who has already heard of their situation on the drive up. My husband says it’s a coincidence, but my silly imaginative mind wonders if I’m being sent a message.

I realize we all wilt. We all have a predetermined time here. I don’t want to leave before I’ve accomplished what I’ve wanted, seen what I need to. I have so much to do during my stay in this world and if you really think about it, we’re all “terminal.”

Let me snap my fingers so we can get out of the funk I just created. Someone pass me some chocolate!
Esta Later!