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Showing posts from January, 2012

No, Don’t Do That to Me, Please…or I’ll Go Lisbeth Salander on You.

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"If you touch me, I'll more than alarm you."--Lisbeth Salander
I watched “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo” last night, a date with myself. Movies, solo is a great experience, and I’ve been doing it since I was 19 when I finally didn’t care to wait around for a man to ask me out. So, with my loving husband hanging with our kids at home, I dressed nice, slipped on my boots and headed out into the rain.




Hormonal, eager to see the American version to compare with the foreign pioneer and the book (which I only read ¾ off), I marched into the AMC theater. I reached the ticket collector and knew I had exactly five minutes to get into my seat—I hate being late for anything.

What I assessed of the boy in the red shirt was that he was young enough to be my son, shaved head, and scrawny. I didn’t look at his eyes because I didn’t feel the need to register him into my database. I was scanning the left and right sides of the theater, making a mental note of what numbers were on eith…

Cut the Red Wire or the Blue Wire!?

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"Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor."~Dr. Alexis CarrelI’m excellent in keeping contracts, my word, a promise to others, but….not so much with myself. I guess it has to do with the fact that I can forgive myself and make the breach “okay” in my brain. I know how to rationalize and feed myself propaganda that it’s okay to not uphold goals for myself. I hold the key to secret clauses that the buyer (myself) didn’t know—the fine, fine, fine print. Escape clauses are detrimental to any real progress. I know this.

My life is a non-stop movie that I can’t set aside or pause. I have to constantly be PRESENT, entertained by my sometimes mundane life. There are no other points of view I can have, just this one lens, my point of view.

Am I whining? Yes and no. I’m just exploring why I fall into the same traps. Maybe I’m afraid of real adventure. Maybe I’m really boring at the core. I like to think of myself a warrior, a goddess, bu…