40 by 40. Happy Birthday to Me.

In this last hour of my 30s, I reflect on the last six months. Changes in my health, aging, realizing things (still) made me reach for the goal of losing 40 pounds by my 40th birthday. I was able to reach half of that goal, and the younger me would have spent the rest of the week beating herself up over this perceived failure and eating fries and chocolate and perhaps fries dipped in chocolate, but the older, wiser me, with rickety knees and a bum right shoulder looks at losing 20 lbs. as a battle half won.

Turning 40 is both an honor and a terror.

I am looking forward to celebrating my birthday with my daughter, who turns 6, 6 days after me. We are celebrating with a Wonder Woman theme, mainly my idea.

So, as I enter into my next decade. I realize that I’m still learning and growing and evolving. This, I know, never ends. My mother, in her 60s, proves this to me everyday. She continues to reach for new goals and achieve new things.

I’m a better version of myself, even if parts of me need to be warmed up and stretched out to prevent injury.

Here’s to 40!

Happy Birthday, Dad.

62 would have been a grand celebration.

My father remains in my heart,
Taken six years ago, too soon
I regret that he did not meet his
granddaughter, spunky and tough like him
or watch his grandson evolve,
smart and kind like him
He did not see my mother
flourish in his absence, despite her heavy heart
He did not witness
his daughter find her true calling
or his son carry on his passions
For these reasons I miss him so,
I urge those who have their fathers
To cherish the time you have
Six years later, and I’m still reeling
Regretting, remembering….all the things my father was
and all the things my father did not see

Tedy Gamboa Chargualaf, my latte stone

Happy Birthday to Me?

"It takes a long time to grow young."--Pablo Picasso

Okay, I’m 38 years old. I remember being 13 and thinking, “Eww, 30-somethings are so old!” But, here I am and I feel like I’m still growing as a person. Does that ever stop? At this point, I don’t think so. Now, I look at 13 year olds and think, “Aww, they’re so young!” I often feel so sad when I hear of a twenty something on the news losing their life, thinking, “Wow, he’s still a baby!” I guess that makes Justin Bieber a zygote to me.
Well, being from Guam and knowing that they are one day ahead, I’ve had the blessings of birthday well-wishers for two days straight, and I love it. It’s amazing how a simple greeting from someone on your Facebook wall can make you smile, especially if it’s from someone on your list you deemed dormant since you and he or she have not made any contact aside from being on each other’s list. I’ve spent the last day and a half thanking each person with a comment.
So, I have much to be thankful for as I venture into my 38th year. Wonderful children who keep me on my toes, a supporting thoughtful husband who works hard for our family and a great circle of family and friends.

Below (My father, Tedy Gamboa Chargualaf and a 3 year old me! Circa Asan, Guam 1977).

The one thing I miss on my birthday is my dad. He died five years ago this month. I could always depend on a thoughtful card signed in his beautiful handwriting. He was always good about remembering people on their birthdays, especially his children and his god children. That is something I hold true in my life. The year before I got married, I asked my dad if he thought throwing a Power Puff Girl party was a good idea (my favorite cartoon then). It was for my 29th birthday. He excitedly said, "Yeah! And let's get a jumpy house!" So, we did. And we had a pinata for the kids and adults and a ton of food, family and friends. It was a blast! So, with my father and my memories of him fresh in my head today, thanks everyone for making another birthday wonderful.

Oh, and I’m excited to say that I will have another appearance in the University of Guam’s Storyboard 12. (I have poetry in Storyboard 6 and two short stories in Storyboard 11).

Receiving the e-mail from the editor late last night was a welcomed birthday gift. “Reach” is a short story I wrote about my mom and her journey from South Korea to Guam. I will be featured with 27 other artists/writers selected by blind review from over 180 entries. For that, I’m proud and excited! Biba Chamorro Writing!